By Elnur Huseynov
Understanding yourself is by far the most difficult ego centric endeavor you may ever undertake.
In this self analytical, read sentimental post I write about the extent to which we, the groovy people, need to understand the inner self.
We might quickly assume that we are self aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. If you have ever been in a car accident you may have experienced everything happening in sort of slow motion. In this kind of situations we learn to see new opportunities for interpretations of our thoughts, emotions, and life moments we had. We search for happiness everywhere, some in money, others in career growth, cars, clothes, appearances, and the list goes on and on. Your treasure and your perfection is within you already, is that what you have, is that what you are. To claim that happiness, however, you need to abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence with your heart and soul.
All people have vices and you have always been what you are, that is not new by far, what you will get used to is knowing who you are. Becoming a poet at this stage was not planned though, it is just the rhythm was coming by itself. How fair is to judge others by their belongings, race, education, religion and social status when you don't know even who you are yourself. I noticed that mostly the things that irritate us about others can actually lead to a better understanding of ourselves. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart as who looks outside, dreams, and the one who looks inside awakes.
The person in life you will always be with the most, is yourself. And even when you are with someone else, you are still with yourself and when you wake up and have a cup of coffee, you are with yourself, laying in bed at night, you are with yourself, walking down street, you are with yourself. The question is what kind of person do you want to walk down the street with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of personality do you want to see at the end of the day before you fall asleep. And, yes, that person is yourself and it is your responsibility to be that person you want to be with.
In fact, the personal pronoun used by us the most is the pronoun "I". Is that because we love ourselves so much and/or focused on our being so much? You are not what you think, you are what you hide. The difference is your ability to look at your badness and face it, accept its existence and stop covering the mirror you are looking at. Stop those fabricated illusions and accept yourself as you are, then you can change for the better. The most horrible thing you can do to yourself is to remain ignorant by lacking the courage and respect to look at yourself sincerely. Hence, never try to do anything without intention and self awareness, never do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, just recognize it when it happens and fear hypocrisy. Of all the deceivers fear most yourself if you are one. That is a penance, indeed. Focus on your being and be aware of yourself as when there is a mess inside of you, no point to clear the outside.
A French philosopher said, at 30 a man should know himself like the palm of his hand, know the exact number of his defects and qualities, know how far he can go, foretell his failures - be what he is. And, above all, accept these things. So, by now you have had to learn enough to know that when you are getting annoyed at somebody else, it was actually because there was something that you yourself were doing. Self awareness helps to avoid wretched hypocrisy because the hypocrite says with his tongue what is not in his heart. He wrongs his tongue and oppresses his heart. But if the heart is sound, the condition of the tongue follows. There is always a price for not being yourself. Know your heart and get rid of ego as your dictator, make it your servant - that is the trick.
And even to say "I love you" one must know first how to say the "I".